Dr. Darlene Treese
Warm greetings to all!!
I’m Dr. Darlene Treese (known as “Dr. Dar”), and I’m very proud to be associated with Life Skills Resource Group here in Orlando. I have a bachelor’s and master’s degree in education, a master’s degree in counseling and a PhD in psychology. I’ve been in private practice in hypnotherapy, counseling and life coaching since 1983 and have had offices in Arizona, Virginia and most recently Tallahassee. I’m licensed as both as an LMHC and LPC and am Past President of the American Psychotherapy and Medical Hypnosis Association.
People often ask how I got into the field of hypnosis. My career began in education and I’ve taught everything from Pre-K through post-graduate classes. I found that often I was doing more counseling than teaching, for learning is difficult when the mind and emotions are in turmoil. I decided then to get more training and earned a master’s degree in counseling. I spent a lot of time working with biofeedback and stress management techniques, and loved the results that clients got while they were in the calm of my office. However, I was puzzled as to how to help them better carry this into the chaos of living. It was then that I was encouraged by MD colleagues to focus on hypnotherapy while earning my PhD in psychology, for hypnosis teaches the person to use their body as the biofeedback mechanism. I have closely aligned my practice as an adjunct to the traditional medical treatments that clients are receiving.
Physicians often refer patients who want to stop smoking, lose weight, alleviate stress and lower blood pressure; as well as those suffering from fibromyalgia, IBS, BDD, chronic pain, migraines and tension headaches, allergies, and cancer. Hypnosis is wonderful for pre-operation and pre-childbirth treatment to allay fears, reduce discomfort, and speed healing. Dr. Andrew Weil and Dr. Deepak Chopra both recommend that people seek and establish a relationship with a qualified hypnotherapist while they are healthy, so that they are well-prepared for a quick recovery when illness or injuries occur. It’s been reported that over 75% of visits to the doctor are stress-related, so hypnosis may also be one of your first lines of preventative care as well.
In addition to physical concerns, I work with clients to help them get over fears/phobias and self-defeating thoughts and behaviors that impede success and well-being. This can include anything from becoming a better public speaker or test taker to improving sports performance. I truly believe that we all can achieve peak performance by choice rather than by chance and that we have far greater powers and abilities than what we typically use. Together, we can release you from whatever is holding you back and allow you the opportunity to live the life you truly desire.
The most important thing to know is that all hypnosis is self-hypnosis. I am not doing anything to you or for you, but I am guiding and teaching you how to use your subconscious mind to create the results that you desire and remove those blocks or obstacles that are getting in your way. Thoughts are things, and what we think about comes about. Everything that exists was first a thought or idea that was then supported by action to make it a reality. Your goal achievement – whether it’s to have more confidence or better health, or taking a few strokes off your golf score – begins in the subconscious mind. You can find more information about my background, philosophy, services, CDs, mp3s and e-books at my website – www.AskDrTreese.com. Contact me at AskDrTreese@gmail.com or call me at 480-296-3358 with your questions and let me know how I can be of service to you. I’m looking forward to working with you!
Read more about Dr. Darlene Treese and Hypnosis. Check out Dr. Dar’s website www.AskDrTreese.com.
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Often I have clients ask me why people do things (to them) that are bad; or “Why do bad things happen to good people?” In other words, they want to know why someone has intentionally lied to, cheated on, stolen from, or hurt them in one form or another. With the economic crisis such as it is, this is becoming an increasingly popular inquiry here in Central Florida. I already know what I say, but how would you answer this question?
I decided to consult the all powerful internet, assuming there would be a consensus; which turned out to be more like playing around with a Magic 8 Ball. At answers.yahoo.com, I was told that the top three reasons why people do bad things were as follows: #1. Self-centered selfishness, #2. Original sin, and #3. Criminals assume they’ll get away with it. I found an article at PsychologyToday.com which suggested that “doing bad things” is a result of learned behavior that allows you to “act without thinking,” and it can never be fully unlearned (for example: addiction). On another site I found a really interesting article about the nature of suffering, where they pretty much said that “why” was not for us to know, but I digress…
Anyway, here is a list of things that I like to know before I tackle any “why.” Now, please keep in mind that I don’t always straight out ask this entire list of questions. People just tend to state the answers to most of these queries during the course of therapy.
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Wish you could find the energy to do the things that used to make you happy? Feeling like life is passing you by while you struggle to keep your head above water? Can’t even remember what it was you really wanted to do with your life in the first place? At Life Skills Resource Group in Orlando we have the therapists and life coaches who can help you find your way back to being your true self. One way we can help you to do this is by helping you eliminate the things in your life that are holding you back and depleting your mental energy.
Identifying and removing obstacles from you life is an essential step in achieving goals. You may be so caught up in the little things that drain your energy that you don’t have the time to do what really matters to you. In her book, Take Time for Your Life, Cherly Richardson estimates that up to 75% of your mental energy is used up by the following types of distractions (this is an abbreviated list)…
• There are people in my life who continuously drain my energy.
• I have unreturned phone calls, e-mails, etc. that need to be handled.
• I have unresolved conflict with a family member.
• I feel a void in my life created by the lack of a romantic relationship.
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Kim C. Murphy, MS
Life Skills Resource Group
Ok, so Tuesday I put some handouts in the lobby about goal setting in the New Year. To my surprise, they were all gone by the next day.
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Dating isn’t always great. You don’t really know if the person is being honest, or at least not being totally honest. It can be an awkward and somewhat artificial situation loaded with the potential for disaster…or love. On a first date, you sit there listening to what they’re saying, thinking “please say something so wonderful that I will consider it remotely, remotely possible that I could spend the rest of my life on this earth eating sushi and riding bikes and watching HBO and traveling through Tuscany with you; please.” You wonder if they’re smart enough and funny enough. You hope they’re not secretly rude to bank tellers or a hater of kittens. You want them to be reliable, yet adventurous; sophisticated, but not elitist; loving but not smothering-you know, perfect. You want them to be like you. You ask yourself, “Can I really look into these eyes until my eyes cease to see?” “Is this the face of the man/woman I will love until the day that I die?” “Will this person be able to weather the coming storms of life along with me, as well as rejoice in the pleasures of it?” “Are they good in, well, you know…?”
If you’re meeting for dinner, there’s always a nagging concern that perhaps your date won’t show. You want to get there a few minutes early, just to be safe. You imagine that everyone around you can sense you are on a first date-waiting for that person, and that your vulnerability couldn’t be more obvious if you were wearing a sign that read, “LOVE ME.” If your date is running late, it’s agony. Why won’t that waiter stop asking you if you want a glass of water?! Do you sit and act like you’re calm and carefree, willing yourself with every breath to resist the urge to text your tardy potential soul mate? Or, does your inner dialogue degenerate into something like…”You should never have tried that dating website. It’s too soon. What were you thinking? You’re not ready. They were probably talking to five other people on that website anyway, and they’ve found someone they like better. This is a disaster. I should just leave. Everyone knows I’ve been stood up.” Then, just when all hope is lost, the server shows your date to your table.
You smile hello. This is the crucial moment. When they came walking up to you, did you think “yes,” and breathe a sigh of relief? Are you encouraged because they are well groomed, politely apologetic and compliment you on your smile right away? Or, heaven forbid, do they disregard you and your feelings and immediately launch into an angry rant about traffic and parking difficulties? Are you glad you stayed, or do you secretly wish you had left when you first considered it? Perhaps, you should just relax and go with it. If you’re going to be an active participant in creating the life you want, risks like this are inherent. There’s no point in giving up before you even get started. So…
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I love this question. It’s a one sentence plot synopsis of the movie Forrest Gump. It makes me think of a very long list of possibilities. It makes me stop thinking of all the reasons why not to do something. It lays bare the essence of human existence: infinite potential to be made manifest through the synergy of thoughts, feelings and actions. It comforts and challenges me simultaneously. It reminds me how fortunate I am to live in the U.S. (in Orlando), where opportunities for greatness abound. It makes me feel a little ashamed-for the gobs of time I’ve wasted in paralysis of thought. Well, anyway, here’s my list (the short version)…
- Lose weight/Get in shape
- Travel through Europe and the U.S.
- Have a gallery show of my artwork
- Volunteer regularly
- Write a book, no, write several books
- Fall deeply in love
As I read this list, I’m realizing that I can do ALL these things. As Ray Bradbury once said, “You’ve got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down.” Bradbury also said, “You can’t try to do things; you simply must do them.” But if it were that easy, we’d all be in a tie for first place in the category of most accomplished human being. The real question is: what if it is that easy? What if unlocking your potential is as easy as: 1) deciding that you cannot fail, and 2) doing what your heart desires? Perhaps all we need is someone to partner with while we plan our world domination. Here at Life Skills Resource Group, we have trained Counselors and Life Coaches to help you:
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My life has been a continuous evolution. I have lived in 13 countries (every continent except Australia). It seems that I have been doing life coaching, in one way or another, all my life; professionally, I have been an International Life Coach for the last two years here in Orlando. It brings me a lot of joy to see others prosper. I just feel so connected to humankind. Every encounter I have- every give and take- I always learn something. It’s a fuel for growth. I go from the principle that we are born full of love, and we can only be happy if we can get love and share love. Love is a creator of peace.
Before this life I had another life. I had a corporate life. I worked in advertising and sales. Throughout, my driving force was always to see people grow around me. I was concerned with the people around me, my team. You see, I think we create barriers that don’t exist because of fear. I can go anywhere and feel like I fit. I find my reason for being is to promote tolerance, peace, and non-judgment. So, I decided to make a living out of it.
We are all human beings; the things we go through are the same across the world. Whether a woman is in Afghanistan or Sweden, she wants the same things. She wants respect, honor, support, food for her children… I love empowering women to take charge of their lives. Women are the pillars of their homes and the world. I tell them that to take care of themselves is a self-less act. For, if they are not well, they cannot take care of their families. I also help expats and ethnic minorities find purpose. It helps them to feel at home and live in peace.
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Recently, I had the opportunity to sit and talk with Cindy Fabico, MA, NCC, LMHC about her approach to individual and couples counseling at her practice, Life Skills Resource Group in Orlando. I must admit that I was the only one sitting, as Cindy was so enthusiastic about her role as a therapist that she remained standing almost the entire time. I hardly had to ask her anything, as she was so knowledgeable about her field that she required no talking points from me. The following is a brief summary of what was said during that conversation…
According to Cindy, we’re always sending ourselves messages, both good and bad. But what do they mean and how do we know which ones to listen to? Well, in therapy, Cindy begins by helping her clients to develop an awareness of those messages and how to track them (consciousness). She teaches her clients to acknowledge that the negative is real, but that they’re not going to fixate and focus on it. They can’t dwell on it. They must grieve what was and move on to what is. They learn to not dwell on the future, either. For if they focus on thoughts like “When ________ happens, I’ll be happy,” they won’t be doing anything about it in the meantime. They learn to stop being miserable and self-medicating with food, alcohol, sex, etc.
Cindy points out that if you want to be in shape, you go to the gym and eat right. If you want to be happy and feel good about your life, then you actively practice every day. How? You focus on what’s good instead of what’s bad. You take a good look at the people you spend time with (and make adjustments). If they’re not supporting your health and growth, what’s the use of being around them? You read books and journal. You exercise and get enough sleep. Cindy finds that by doing these things, people can change how their brains work. Even those who may be more prone to depression can rewire their brains for happiness.
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Ok, let me begin by saying that I am absolutely devoted to Melody Beattie and everything she stands for. In case you’re unfamiliar with the name, Melody Beattie is the author of fifteen books including Codependent No More and The Language of Letting Go. She is an unstoppable force of good and healing, and her message of hope and change through self-awareness expands ceaselessly in all directions. Melody Beattie is a one woman revolution. Having said all that, I still feel like I haven’t come close to doing her justice in describing what she’s single-handedly done to help those who are lost.
The following is adapted from The Language of Letting Go (Hazelden Meditation Series), by Melody Beattie:
It takes courage and honesty to end a relationship- with friends, loved ones, or even a work relationship. Sometimes it may appear easier to let the relationship die from a lack of attention, rather than risk ending it. Sometimes, it may appear easier to let the other person take responsibility for ending the relationship. We may be tempted to take a passive approach. Instead of saying how we feel, what we want or don’t want, or what we intend to do; we may begin sabotaging the relationship, hoping to force the other person to do the difficult work. Sometimes this is unconscious behavior we “do,” without getting in touch with our feelings.
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The following is a definition from The Concise Oxford English Dictionary © 2008 Oxford University Press:
• 1 allow the existence or occurrence of (something that one dislikes or disagrees with) without interference.
Why are we such spectators to the things that bother us? Are we afraid of being wrong or overreacting? Do we fear being perceived as “pushy,” not nice or argumentative? Are we overwhelmed by the sheer number of things we feel forced to deal with that they just start stacking up? When we were small children, we had little ability to tolerate anything that we disagreed with. Does that mean it’s a sign of maturity that we have given up on the idea of voicing our objections and acting on our most basic desires?
• 2 endure (someone or something unpleasant) with forbearance.
The literal meaning of forbearance is “holding back,” according to Wikipedia. Why are we holding back? How have we become so out of touch with our own feelings that we unconsciously agree to endure something unpleasant…repeatedly?
• 3 be capable of continued exposure to (a drug, toxin, etc.) without adverse reaction.
So, can someone be continually exposed to something unpleasant, disagreeable, or toxic without adverse reaction?
Wikipedia describes toleration as “the practice of deliberately allowing or permitting a thing of which one disapproves. One can meaningfully speak of tolerating, i.e. of allowing or permitting, only if one is in a position to disallow.”
This is the key. Tolerations in our daily lives are entirely within our power to eliminate, or “disallow.”
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