Dec 09 2012
family trials & traditions
by Dr. Dar
“They say that blood is thicker than water. Maybe that’s why we battle our own with more energy and gusto than we would ever expend on strangers.” -David Assael
Nov 20 2011
Most of us look forward to getting together for the holidays, despite what is portrayed in Hollywood movies. A chance to reconnect with family members is welcomed and cherished across cultures and around the world. Yes, there are times where things don’t go as well as we may have wished. Tempers may flare and old familiar hurts may be re-experienced, but that’s definitely not what this blog is about.
Maybe it’s just me, but this year seems like it’s been longer than most. There’s been so much bad news in the news lately that it’s almost impossible to watch. The economy’s been pretty dismal as well. Family budgets are getting stretched so tight that people are starting to look at things like Coca Cola and cable television as unnecessary extravagances. For some of us, it’s been a year of loss-loss of a relationship, a job, a home, or even hope. There’s been a lot of grief, sorrow, fear, depression, anxiety and loneliness going around. We’re all overdue for a good home cooked meal, some lively conversation, heartfelt laughter, warm feelings of connection, and football (which promises to be pretty great this year).
Now, granted, in years past we’ve chafed at the idea of “having” to go home for Thanksgiving, rather than genuinely wanting to. After all, we’ve got families and/or responsibilities of our own to consider. It can be a real hassle to board the pets and pack for the kids and make arrangements to be away from the office. Let’s not forget that holiday travel can be a total nightmare.
But this year, something’s different. We need to go home for Thanksgiving. We can’t wait to be surrounded by people who love us. We want to be back in a place where everything seems safe and easy and familiar. We crave the simplicity of family. We’d love to help peel potatoes or wash dishes. We won’t mind taking out the trash or raking leaves. Can we please be the ones to set up the kids’ table and the folding chairs? We know where the fancy tablecloths are kept. We’ll eat every bite of Aunt Bea’s oyster stuffing, no matter how much we disliked it in years past.
In my family we have a special door prize for the one who’s travelled the farthest. Let’s just say that West Virginia is a long way from Orlando, and I’ve won a time or two. This year, I’ll be staying in town and missing my family terribly. Fortunately, a dear friend has invited me to share Thanksgiving with her family. I don’t know what it’ll be like exactly, but I’m sure it will be wonderful. I know for a fact that she’s a huge football fan, so that’s a good sign. Her kitchen is nothing short of a modern marvel, and I have great anticipation for all of the wonderful treats that will come out of it this Thursday. Oh, and did I mention that she really knows how to throw the perfect party?
Anyway, this blog is a shout out to those of you out there who are hosting the family Thanksgiving dinner at your house/apartment/condo/restaurant/church/community center/homeless shelter/nursing home this year. Those of us who are coming to partake of your generosity thank you for all you will do for us. It will be an honor to share Thanksgiving with you and know that we are home. Kim
To read more about: Kim Murphy
To Contact: TherapistKimMurphy@gmail.com
Phone: 321-352-2258
Dec 11 2010
Jessica Stage, MSW, Registered Clinical Social Worker Intern
The holiday season comes upon us earlier and earlier. The Halloween decorations are still up when the Christmas music begins playing in stores. If you believe the media, everyone is happy and full of goodwill throughout the season. Families are together for huge feasts, and everyone receives what their heart desires on Christmas morning. So how is it that you are feeling so sad, when the world is so happy?
Financial problems can be especially rough during the holidays. With so many reminders to “buy buy buy” and to show people you care through presents and parties, it can be difficult to say “no, I can’t afford it”. So sometimes we spend money that we shouldn’t, and brush the guilty feelings aside because it is the holidays. While spending might feel good at the time, going over the credit card bills in the New Year will not be as enjoyable. It is ok to take a “time out” from overspending. Try to focus on creating memories with friends and family instead of just buying a gift. Many older relatives would appreciate a day spent with them, to accompany them on outings and appointments. Take your family to a park and have a rustic picnic. You can show your children the need out there in the community by taking them to a shelter to volunteer, or by shopping for gifts for a homeless family.